I’m lucky enough to spend a lot of time staying in the finest (read: worst) hotels that London has to offer, particularly around Victoria, where our government clients are based. As such I think I’ve probably stayed in every ‘quirky’ room available, ranging from ones where you can easily touch all four walls at once, to basements with mysterious and unidentified sounds of running water. Recently, I couldn’t help but notice that an Easy Hotel had sprung up in my favourite strip of ‘unconventional’ hotels and I knew I’d have to book a room – what were ‘Easy’ going to bring to the hotel table? Well, to cut a long story short, it was a bloody revelation, changing my view about what a good hotel should be, from the process of booking through to checking out. Without further ado then, here’s some thoughts about the Easy Hotel experience:
Booking. As soon as you start the booking process, you know you’re in for a different experience. Ordinarily, you might be asked whether you want breakfast included, or maybe wifi, but not so with Easy. Instead it immediately asks whether you really need that window? They’ll happily sell you a single or double room without windows, and frankly, once you realise you can save a tenner by disposing of natural light, you wonder what you’ve been paying for all these years. I treated myself to a window, next time I won’t bother. Well played Easy Hotel.
Furniture. Easy Hotel is not just a place to stay, it’s also a way to imagine what prison is like. Do you really need furniture, they ask? It turns out, you don’t. With the use of only two hooks I managed to hang all of my clothes for the next day, with merely the smallest of crumples. And it’s not just the lack of cupboards that changed me, Easy helped me to realise that I don’t need a bedside table, a chair, a desk or any frivolous non-nailed down item.
Do you really need a lamp, or alternative lights? I always thought you did, turns out I was wrong again. Actually a single, glaring hospital style light works just as well and helped me to imagine I was in the Heartbeat spinoff ‘The Royal’ which I certainly wasn’t expecting. I now question the former decadence of my life.
I’d always assumed that a room for sleeping in needed to be a restful colour – magnolia, an organic green, maybe a soft blue, but no, it turns out that bright orange walls are extremely conducive to sleep. I couldn’t help but lie awake and think about all my future Easy Jet based holidays. I should point out however that by 3 a.m, not even the thoughts of holidays or indeed the bright orange walls, could keep me awake anymore. I am now, of course, redecorating my entire house in line with ‘Easy Orange’ policy. As an aside to this point, the Easy Hotel urls plastered on both walls were really handy.
So, what did we learn? Hotels are ordinarily a pompous, overblown and frankly expensive waste of time as they currently exist. Do we really need furniture, windows, good lighting or tasteful decor? I would argue that are all redundant because these days we instead have Easy Hotel.